We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
