is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
