I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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