I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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