Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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