well you can't waste a boner
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
