The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize