thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize