I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i've created a new STD.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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