My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
