So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here