I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?