I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?