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problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I looked at my own cervix.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Randomize
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