I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.