No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
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that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
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Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?