New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left