I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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