So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
