just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
