Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
