Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
