I just made out with a guy for $7.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Be still, my beating vagina.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
