Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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