Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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