woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
