you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
