She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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