I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
