she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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