I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
false alarm. still invincible.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
