i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
