just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
