I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Randomize
