well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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