My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
