some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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