sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
