There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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