Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Omg I joined a choir last night...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
