I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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