You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
