I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
