Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
