Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
