Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
