SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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