I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
