Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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