That's when you crack a 10am beer
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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