just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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