I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
