I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
