I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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