She said her name was "party"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
