you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
