So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
