i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So. Much. Porn.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
