I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
