I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize