I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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