Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
