remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
try to milk me bitch
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